i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
