plz talk dirty to me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
