Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
