where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
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