do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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