he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
