We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
