New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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