We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
