i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
