D3 body, D1 cock
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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