after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
