I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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