Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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