That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
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When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
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Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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