Already got asked if we're dating
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize