is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
