It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I am available for nakedness
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
