The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
At least life still wants to fuck me.
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