I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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