The maid of honor just puked.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
