I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
