Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
