First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
