You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
