The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He did a backflip because drugs
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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