another moral hangover. fuck.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Reggie can tackle my bush.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Come on in and take your pants off
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