just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
its not stalking. its research.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Come on in and take your pants off
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