i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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