she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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