HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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