The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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