hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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