Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
