addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize