I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
