Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
