It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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