Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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