i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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