i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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