Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
