im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
