I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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