I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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