i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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