Nicole vs. Life
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
