This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
