Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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