i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
