She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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