Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
