Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
